Grief
by Dementia Crucible
Summary: Glinda fell into depression once Elphaba was gone. Angst everywhere. Trigger warning. One or maybe two shot? Gelphie.


**A/N: Trigger warning: thoughts/actions of self harm/suicide and light and very temporary verbal abuse.**

_It had been a year, give or take a decade, since Elphaba had gone. It had dragged on so slowly; so painfully... Glinda had lost track of time a long time ago, and stopped caring. She tried to feign happiness at first, but the act just became too taxing to bare. The taunts of Elphaba just never ceased as Glinda had hoped. Although she had kept her promise in not revealing the truth behind it all, she had hoped the Ozians would know better than to speak ill of the dead._  
_"Glinda the Good" had slowly faded away as Glinda began to lose her strength. Elphaba had been her constant ever since Shiz, and even when the mean green thing had been on the run, Glinda knew she was there. But Elphaba was killed, practically in front of the blonde. She could still hear the echo of the screech of pain that Elphaba gave as she melted..._

Glinda barely registered the tears as they fell down her cheeks; she had been crying for perhaps an hour now, like she had been since ..  
A sob escaped her as she tried to shove the morbid thought from her mind. Although time had passed since Elphaba's melting, the pain it brought the sorceress hadn't dulled. There was always that constant ache in her chest, and Glinda still hadn't been able to soothe it.  
As she roughly swiped at the tears that burned her cheeks, Glinda forced herself to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself, but as it had so many times before, the feeble gasp didn't do much other than cause the dryness of her throat to worsen. _Elphie.. I miss you so much.. Why couldn't you have fought? That stupid girl would have been no match..._

The thought, being one that frequented her often, was bitter with grief. Only a small part of Glinda's mind protested, but she paid no it no heed. She deserved to grieve, even though the time thought appropriate for grieving had long passed.

* * *

_"Miss Glinda," a voice sighed in exasperation. "If anyone other than myself saw you mourning over the Wicked Witch..."_  
_The threat was barely concealed behind the patronizing tone. Glinda didn't even bother lifting her gaze from the stone that marked Elphaba's grave._  
_The man clicked his tongue as he spotted the white lily propped up against the smooth headstone. "What would the people say? Sometimes I think you do that just to defy their little chant."_

_Glinda the Empty barely twitched as the subject was brought up. The Ozians had said "No one mourns the Wicked... No one cries 'they won't return'... No one lays a lily on their grave..." She hadn't even thought of the peoples' saying until now. She had just been instinctive._  
_A clammy hand clamped down on Glinda's shoulder, causing her to flinch. "My dear, don't you think that you've spent more than enough time weeping for the bitch? It's time to go."_

_Glinda bowed her head as he pulled her into his side. If he hadn't blackmailed her- if he hadn't the leverage that had come from stalking her, Glinda never would have married such a cold hearted man. Especially since her heart was already stolen._

The reflection from the ring on her finger flashed angrily as the moonlight caught it, reminding Glinda of it's presence. The weight of the gold seemed unnaturally heavy and cold, and what it represented caused a spike of nausea.

_It's a dog collar in disguise_, she thought bitterly as she yanked it off her finger. She tossed it, without a second thought, out of the open window. _I will not be kept a trophy any longer._

* * *

_"I hope your happy," Glinda had begun sarcastically. "I hope your happy now."_

_"I hope you're proud of how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition!" Elphaba had shot back._  
_Glinda flinched, as the seriousness of the situation sunk in. If the green woman let this continue..._

_"Elphie... Listen to me. Just say you're sorry!" She knew that already there was going back, but she had to give it a shot. "You can have all you've ever wanted..."_

_"I know. But I don't want it- no; I **can't** want it any more." Elphaba offered her friend a weak smile._

_Almost immediately Glinda realized how much her old roommate had changed over the years, and how different they were. While Glinda had still matured, she knew she could never be so brave. It was something she had always admired about the black haired beauty._

_"Can't I make you understand? You're having illusions of grandeur!" Glinda had tried._

_"I'm through with accepting limits 'cause someone said they're so. Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know!"_  
_Glinda couldn't help but to feel pride for her best friend. However, her fear still lingered._

_"Glinda.. Come with me. Think of what we could do.. Together!" The green woman had offered Glinda her enchanted broomstick. "Together we'll be the greatest team there's ever been! Glinda, dreams the way we planned them-"_

_"If we work in tandem," Glinda finished with a small smile, placing her hands over Elphie's._

_"There's no fight we cannot win," they uttered together, their timid smiles growing into full on grins._

_"Well, are you coming?" Elphaba asked, her hope filling her voice._

_Underneath her fingers, Elphaba's trembled, bringing Glinda back to reality. There was no escaping for her; she wasn't brave enough._

_"Oh Elphie.. You're trembling.." Glinda pulled back, biting her lip as her mind worked quickly. She pulled away to retrieve a cloak for her friend._

_As she wrapped it around Elphaba's shoulders, she could feel her heavy gaze on her. Glinda could barely fasten the cloak closed, as the woman's breath washed over her face. Being in such close proximity ..._

_"Glinda.. Kiss me goodbye," Elphie murmured._

_Glinda couldn't help but giggle at the absurdity; not of the request, but because of the intense affection that danced in her chest. "Of course, **my sweet**," Glinda mocked gently as she stood up on her tip toes to comply._

* * *

With a small watery smile, Glinda looked fondly upon the razor blade that she held between her fingers. The reflection it captured of her tears were truly beautiful, she thought distantly. Surely once the pure blade was tainted with her blood, the beauty would only increase.  
Swiping at her cheek with the back of her palm, Glinda took a deep breath to calm her mind. There would be no going back, if she chose to continue. Even if her plan failed, things would change.

She had heard of so many who lost their courage; instead choosing to coward out... Since Glinda had yet to doubt herself on this, she reasoned that they were only seeking attention. Or they found their light at the last moments. But Glinda's light was extinguished long ago, so there could be no regrets; it could only alleviate her pain.

With a depressingly graceful movement, Glinda lifted the blade to her left wrist, which was upturned to expose the delicate veins and arteries. The fingers clutching the blade refused to shake, instead remaining deceivingly steady. It was the only part of her that wasn't churning or shifting anxiously

.  
Minutes later, as blood gracefully slipped from her veins, and Glinda's consciousness began to waver, she could've sworn she saw something green shift towards her.  
Had she not of been delusional, she would have realized that her darling Elphaba was not going to rescue her this time.


End file.
